I had left the world of contemplation on death and was deliberating, prayerfully, on some personal matters with The Lord when the Holy Spirit led me to the book of Romans. Specifically He had me read Romans 7:15-25, with an emphasis on verses 24-25.
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
The first part of this passage, verses 15-24, deals with what I wanted to communicate to The Lord. God had heard it before and Paul had put it in writing. The second part of this passage speaks to the consequence of sin - death. However, it also mentions the victory I have over death, that all believers in Christ have over death, because of the victor over death, hell and the grave - Christ Jesus of Nazareth.
If you too have been going through a rough period in your life and you have been saying like me and Paul - "...what I do I do not do, but what I hate I do." - then be encouraged, God is Faithful. He is not only our Rescuer and Deliverer from death in the body, but anything and everything else that would hinder our relationship with Him. Until our beings are transformed to the likeness of Christ (1 Corinthians 15:53) - "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9) Praise be to God, through Jesus Christ His Son!