Tuesday, May 12, 2015

THE DEFUSER


A favorite trait I admire in my wife, Tanya, is how she handles Displacement. There have been times in her workplace and unfortunately instances with me where a negative transfer of emotions is placed on her.

For clients at work and me at home, the vehicle for this negative transfer of negative emotions usually is a legit, but small issue that gets escalated figuratively and/or literally to the point of nasty displacement on Tanya.

Tanya and I have had our moments, though they are extremely far-and-few-between. But when I cross the line, when I speak harsh words, even though I might be in the right, I could have communicated better and try to be the first to apologize. She has always been gracious to accept my apology and re-instate me. Tanya has business clients and co-workers that have displaced on her as bad or worse too. Although I am sure she does not want to be, Tanya is a great Defuser.

Tanya is great at listening. To me hearing is the sense humans have that collects the sound-waves and sends it through the proper channels. Listening involves the understanding, the deciphering of what is being communicated. And although Tanya may have her pink ear-piece in when I am speaking blue and I may have my blue ear-piece in when she is speaking pink - we still manage to talk it out. With difficult clients and co-workers few words to no words, depending on the situation, are recommended. If I and the rest of these people would be emotionally and professionally responsible, a lot of wasted time, energy and words could be avoided.

I believe Jesus took the ultimate displacement, harassment, and humiliation when we was spat upon at His false trial in Caiaphas' house so that we might rely on Him to know when to speak and what to say. "Notice that it wasn't just a few who spit in His face that night; the Bible says, '...they spit in his face...' The word 'they' refers to all the scribes and elders who were assembled for the meeting that night. One scholar notes that there could have been one hundred or more men in this crowd! And one by one, each of these so-called spiritual leaders, clothed in their religious garments, walked up to Jesus and spit in His face!" (p. 236, Sparkling Gems From the Greek, Rick Renner) [Matthew 26:67]

I think Tanya has a mature grasp of this concept. Although it is not pleasant to get blessed out for no good reason, the concept is - A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)